Your example very accurately describes my first Blot for my family (held at Yule this year). You nailed nearly every frustration I had or mistake I made. Having only the experience of one other Blot prior I knew I was bound to have some. I'm still happy I did it and have some experience and idea of what I need to adjust for the next one. Beneficially, I am finding a bit of a community and don't need to be fully responsible for our next few major rituals as a basically brand-new practitioner. I can build my experience on the simpler, daily practice in the meantime.
Oh yeah I write from personal experience all of these things have happened to me. It's not easy nor does it come right away. It's practice and experimentation that gets us to a smooth and comfortable religious practice in time. Its essential to just try since you figure out what's awkward, melodramatic, and just weird as you go. You find your way. That's good that you also have others that helps a ton especially with the more major yearly stuff.
Your example very accurately describes my first Blot for my family (held at Yule this year). You nailed nearly every frustration I had or mistake I made. Having only the experience of one other Blot prior I knew I was bound to have some. I'm still happy I did it and have some experience and idea of what I need to adjust for the next one. Beneficially, I am finding a bit of a community and don't need to be fully responsible for our next few major rituals as a basically brand-new practitioner. I can build my experience on the simpler, daily practice in the meantime.
Oh yeah I write from personal experience all of these things have happened to me. It's not easy nor does it come right away. It's practice and experimentation that gets us to a smooth and comfortable religious practice in time. Its essential to just try since you figure out what's awkward, melodramatic, and just weird as you go. You find your way. That's good that you also have others that helps a ton especially with the more major yearly stuff.
Try getting into ceremonial magic, where you'll be doing occult practices daily (if you remember) for months at a time.
I am working through the Rune Gild and the Heathen Golden Dawn. The HGD is so effective it's sort of spooky.
Ceremonial magic trains one's attention and discipline in a way that Blots won't. Worth looking into.